Apr 8, 2008

Things that go through my head

I'm compiling a list of things that I find that I think quite often while engaged in conversations with others, but don't exactly input.. Out loud, at least:

"Please, for the love of God, just shut the fuck up."
"You are, in fact, dumber than any given box of rocks."
"What the fuck?"
"No shit."
"That's what I just said. Say it again."
"No, seriously, shut the fuck up."
"I've taken shits that have higher IQs."
"It is 10 feet to the nearest exit."
"I wonder what would happen if I stuck this pencil in that little hole in the wall. I think it would stay."
"Don't look at me like that.. I don't really like you either."
"Oh, I fucked up. Maybe if I act stupid it will get me out of trouble."
"Ok, if I stick this pencil in my eye instead of the hole in the wall, I wonder if he'll stop talking."
"You are so dumb. How do you survive in the wild?"
"And the explaination for that would be that you suck. You suck fat ones. Get over it."
"If the cleaning lady doesn't shut the fucking vacuum off while I'm talking on the phone, I'm going to beat her over the head with the fucking thing."
"This guy doesn't know his ass from his elbow. He should just not talk."
"I'll do it tomorrow."
"If the fucking phone doesn't stop ringing, I'm going to bust a full sprint into that window."
"I need to get an oil change."
"That doodle I made on my desk planner kind of looks like a bunny. How cute."
"Shut up."
"...And the boots with the furrrr..."
"I wonder how long I can hold my breath for."
"They're tryin' to steal me lucky charms!"
"I'm going to laugh at that as a favor to you, because that was not even close to funny. It was so far from funny that you can't even see funny anymore. But you seem to be laughing pretty hard at it, so I'll laugh, too."
"Ooops.. Probably shouldn't have said that.. TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!"
"Um.. Is this a man or a woman?"
"..And the boots with the furrrrr.."...

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