Nov 18, 2009

Never mix a drunk parent with your friends

I've only been mortified once by my mother and I pray it is the last time.

I was about 18 or 19 and I decided to have a few friends over while my mom went to a baseball game.
We were all hanging out in the living room when I noticed seeing some car headlights pull into the driveway.

I went to the door and I saw my mom had driven home completely smashed from her boyfriend's house after the game. Thank god he lived 2 streets down and nothing horrible happened!

I grabbed her and started pulling her into the house because her and her boyfriend were acting like idiots.
She went into the house and saw my friends were all sitting in the living room watching TV and eating pizza.
Well she decided she wanted to sit down and eat, so she sat down next to my friend Tim and started eating.

My friends were asking her who won the game when she looked at Tim and started telling him all about the game. She then decided she wanted to lay on him...like a lap dog while trying to grab his butt.

I.was.completely.mortified.
Completely.

Tim just sat there laughing and playing along with my mom while I'm trying to get her into bed.
I've never seen my mom smashed like that and I hope I never have to see her like that again!

Tim was nice enough to help me get into her bed while I was apologizing over and over and over.
That was when my mom decided to come back out of her room and go up to Tim and said that she loved him and hoped to see him again.
I just sat there staring at the wall...

The next morning she didn't remember anything and I had to explain to her what she did.
As for my friends and Tim...they thought it was hilarious and whenever Tim came over, he'd flirt with my mom.
Ew.

My mom never came home after she drank ever again for the fear that I'd have friends over and she'd make herself look like a huge ass.
Lmao.

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