Dec 27, 2009

I still miss her

My due date with Katelynn was December 27, 2008.
She would be one year old today.
It's an extremely sad day for me today.

I still miss her terribly.

I'm glad I don't have to work today.

Hug anyone?

Dec 24, 2009

Dashing through the snow...

Today we are driving all the way to Wasilla (total trip 56 miles one way) in the snow and icy highway to go to my husband's cousin's house for a Christmas Eve party with his dad's side of the family.

I'm dreading this...his dad's side of the family don't really like me.


Not before I go see Dr. Shumacher to find out if I need surgery or not.
Follow me on Twitter if you want some updates...if not, wait around till after Christmas to find out =]

Tomorrow we are driving BACK out to Wasilla to go to my mom's place for a huge Christmas dinner.
She's cooking for a gagillion people, so we'll see how it turns out.


Dec 23, 2009

Meet Mighty Moose

There's lots of moose in Alaska.
Many people think they are out in the woods doing their moose thing, but in the wintertime, they like to wander into town and eat the trees that are planted downtown because they have nice tasty red berries.

It can be dangerous with there hardly being any daylight and the fact that moose just don't care about anything.
They will walk out in front of you and not even flinch or run away if you honk at them or anything.

I just happened to have been sitting in my car one day waiting for my husband to get out of an appointment when I heard this noise next to me.
I looked up and almost crapped my pants when I saw this:



I just prayed he wouldn't look over at me and step on my car!
They are beautiful animals though.

P.S. 2 more days until Christmas!

Dec 22, 2009

Why I hate driving in the snow

I want to start off by saying I will admit...I'm a VERY cautious driver.
I didn't even take my driving test until I was an adult to make sure I was comfortable behind the wheel.
I was very confident in my driving, until I had a horrible accident.
Now, I'm the last person you want to be behind when it snows really hard because here in Alaska, we don't use salt on our roads and we usually get 6-12 inches of ice on our roads under all the snow.
Luckily, we are allowed to have studded tires, but they don't always work very well as I'm about to explain...

Today is the 3 year anniversary of when I flipped and rolled my car on the Glenn Highway on my way to Anchorage from where I used to live in Palmer.

Here in Alaska, we have 3 main highways...yes, HIGHWAYS.
There are no freeways....

I was a manager at a restaurant, and my employer sponsors our hockey team, Alaska Aces. He would give out tickets to anyone that wanted to go.
Because I had the next 2 days off, I decided to head into Anchorage to my boyfriend's (now husband) house to spend the night and go to the game the next day.
The weather wasn't too bad, so when I got off at 1030pm, I decided to go home, pack a bag, gas up and head into town.

As I got on the highway, I got a pretty good pace, turned on some tunes and was cruising away.
There's a town on the way to Anchorage called Eagle River and it's about the halfway mark to Anchorage from Palmer.
There's this huge hill you go up and it's sometimes scary, but I was climbing it when this car got behind me and was riding my back bumper.
He was way too close for comfort.
I sped up some to get some distance from him, but he stayed on my tail. If I would have hit my brakes, he would have hit me. So I switched lanes.
It was only the 2 of us on the highway at the time. Usually late at night during the winter, there's not much traffic which is why I love taking that drive late at night.

Well as I switched lanes, he switched with me, continuing to stay on my back bumper.
I kept looking in my rearview mirror starting to freak out at this point.
Why was this guy riding my ass??!??

I got back into the right hand lane and he continued to follow me.
This went on for 13 effin' miles!!
Finally we got to the point where the army base starts and he backed off.
I was so relieved and started to calm down when he sped up and was on my ass again.
I started to slowly take my foot off the gas to slow down without hitting my brake when he decided to back off.
Only he was too close.

He clipped the back of my car as he sped past me.
I started to slide on the road and was trying to correct myself, but it was too late.
The snow caught my car and I flipped from nose to back ON THE HIGHWAY, then rolled down this small hill on the side of the highway.
I didn't even know I was rolling until my drink that I bought at the gas station hit me in my head.
I rolled at about 3 times, I lost count to be honest with you.

As I stopped and gained my surroundings, I realized I was sideways laying on the driver side.
My car was still running, so I turned on the windshield wipers because I was completely covered in snow, then turned off my car because stupid me thinks it's going to blow up or something.

I tried moving, but was stuck, so I felt around and found my cell phone.
I called 911 and it wouldn't work on my phone!
I was freaking out at this point.
I saw semi's going by, but no one was stopping.
I called my boyfriend and told him to call 911 for me because I was just in a car accident and couldn't call them on my cell phone.
He was freaking out and wouldn't hang up the phone so we were yelling at each other, when I heard a voice.

I looked out my window, and I saw 4 men crawling down the hill...wearing tuxedos!
They were yelling at me through the window asking me if I was alright.
I told them I couldn't move my arm because it was stuck on something. They told me to hang tight, that they were going to help me.

They disappeared for a few minutes, which I started to freak out because I thought they left me.
I started calling for them and they told me to hang on and cover my face.
That's when I felt the car rocking.
They rocked my car back onto all tires, and helped me out of the car.

I looked at them weird or something because they laughed and said they were soldiers from Fort Richardson, and was coming home from a Christmas party.
I felt so horrible because their tuxedos were ruined from being in 3 feet of snow!
They then helped me up onto the highway where I met a trooper that one of their wives had called.

I couldn't stop thanking them enough!
I offered to pay to have the tuxedos fixed and everything, but they assured me they were all right and I wouldn't need to do that.

I never did get their names before they left me with the trooper and an ambulance.
I ended up dislocating my elbow and had some banged up knees, but other than that, I was fine.
As for my car....
This is the only damage:

I lost the driver side turn signal in the front

The driver side mirror was broken except this part that made things closer

The brown spot is where I was clipped by the other driver

The back side of the driver side mirror

Few dents on the passenger side

A dent on the top of the roof that was popped out eventually

I didn't break any of my windows and no other damage other than to the body.
Not bad for flipping on the highway then rolling 3 times down a hill.
See, this is why I love Toyotas.

I came out extremely lucky.
I had a guardian angel definitely by my side cradling me this happened.

As for the guy, they never caught him.
The only information that I had to give to the police was a dark, maybe black, 2 door sports car.
Still makes me mad when I think about this accident and I didn't get any justice.

So this is why I hate driving in the snow.
I no longer have that car, even though I drove it for 2 years after I had this accident.
Haha. I loved that car!!!

So please, please, please, make sure you're careful and if someone ever messes with you on the highway when it's snowy and icy out, pull over to the nearest building that's open or has lights on and call the police.
Looking back, I should have done that.

Safe driving!

P.S. To the 4 guys and their wives....if one of you read this, email me! I owe you guys some drinks!!!

Dec 21, 2009

Someone shoot me now!

Have I expressed to you how much I love my job at the hospital in previous posts?
And how much I hate sitting in an office?

Well this is what my day has consisted of.
I'm going bonkers!!!!



I've been putting employee handbooks together into all these binders, making nametags, doing a billion filing folders...oh and answering the phones.

Ok....Now that I got that out of my system.

I'm just glad they are accommodating me because of my injury.
I can't wait until Thursday to see the doctor!!

Oh, and Happy Solstice!!

Dec 20, 2009


  • I can't believe there is 5 more days until Christmas
  • I find out Thursday whether or not I need surgery. I doubt it because I've been able to move my arm and lift a few things with it.
  • I'll be working in the office until I'm released to go back to work at the hospital.
  • I really hate answering phones which is what I'll be doing for 3 days.
  • Gotta go to Wasilla on Christmas Eve for my husband's family Christmas party, then BACK to Wasilla on Christmas for my mother's Christmas dinner...I'm not looking forward to doing the drive back to back during Christmas traffic.
  • Tomorrow is going to be the longest NIGHT of the year. We usually get only 4 hours of daylight and it's not even real daylight. It's like dusk. On the bright side, we're going to start gaining light again shortly =]
  • I really want a new digital camera. I nice one...not a point and shoot camera. I'm getting irritated with the one I have that I threw it in a tote somewhere where it will hopefully lose itself.
And to end the point on a good note.
Here's some pictures of our lazy animals...
Lola (dog) and Peaches (cat)
These are some lazy animals!!






Hope everyone had a great weekend and has a great week!

Dec 19, 2009

One big BLAH for Olive Garden

If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that I was complaining about there not being an Olive Garden in the whole state of Alaska.
That is the one restaurant that I really miss after living in Ohio.

Well I got a bright idea shortly after I tweeted how unhappy I was about it.
Email them!!

So I sat down at my computer and googled their website and clicked that pretty Contact Us link.
I told them that they were my favorite restaurant and was really sad that there wasn't a restaurant in Alaska.

Well they actually answered back!!!
But it sucked.

Dear Nikke:

Thank you for your inquiry regarding Anchorage, Alaska as a potential location for the Olive Garden. We are always delighted to hear from our guests and very much appreciate your gracious comments.

While there are many sites in Anchorage that do meet our demographic requirements, logistically we cannot support a restaurant there at this time. Many of our suppliers do not service Alaska, and it would not be cost effective for the company-and in the long run a good investment for our shareholders-to buy and distribute from companies with whom we do not have contracts. Knowing the viability of the market; however, we are working on solutions to this challenge.

Once again, we thank you for your inquiry and really appreciate your enthusiasm for Olive Garden.

Olive Garden Guest Relations

Well that sucks!
I've have been in search for a good italian restaurant here in Alaska, but have not been able to find one.
I guess I'll just have to settle for my mediocre attempts of dishing out some good dishes.

Thank you Mark from Olive Garden responding to me.
I hope to see Olive Garden in Alaska in the future.
Dec 18, 2009

I got my first hate mail!

Yep, it's true.
Someone sent me a hate mail email because of the infamous @madisonmcgraw.
If you've lived under a rock, she's the one that ruffled a lot of feathers about Shellie Ross who lost her 2 year old son in a drowning accident.

I just want to say that I do not agree with all the drama that has risen from this story.
I do not agree with all the things she has said, her appearances she has made on MSNBC, or pushing books about the subject.
I feel deeply for Shellie Ross for losing her son, because I know what it's like to lose a child.
I've sent my deepest sincere regards to her.

While on Twitter only a few hours ago, I simply responded to a tweet that @madisonmcgraw had posted...unrelated to the little boy.
And someone had enough nerve to email me and ask me why I have bible quotes on my page while talking to someone of that nature.

Here's the email:
*I've deleted her name to be nice.

Hello Nikke,
You don't know me but I saw your twitter stream conversation with Madison McGraw. 
We all know she is hiding behind several names so I'll just refer to her as that...

It confuses me why you would place bible quotes on your web page while aligning yourself
with a person such as that?
I'm no "mommy-blogger" so you can just spare the usual labeling you so callously put out there.  I'm a medical professional of nearly 20 years who has seen the best and worst of human nature.
I have also seen a lot of accidents and death.  I am not a parent. 

You need to read this and pass it on to "Madison" ~  ***LINK DELETED TO HER BLOG***
Perhaps it's not too late for her to change her karmic sentence.  She's really paving
the way for spiritual pain in her future.  It's not too late to apologize... publicly.  That would be the only right thing to do here, ... not hiding behind protective tweets.  Any books she sells under these circumstances are hollow accomplishments tainted with the exploitation of a little boy's death.  I hope she knows how many people she has hurt by exposing her lack of conscience.
 And and to let you know...I've replied to Madison McGraw exactly 3 times....THREE!

@madisonmcgraw I've been duped before...badly. Nothing wrong with verifying 1st.
@madisonmcgraw Some people just don't think. It's extremely sad.
@madisonmcgraw Yeah it is upsetting. Where do all these so-called Mommy Bloggers find the time to post 5-7 posts in a day???

I in no way support her, I am not "friends" with her, and I don't plan on getting mixed up in this drama.
I just simply replied to something she said completely unrelated to the boy except the first tweet where I said nothing wrong with verifying a story first.

If people were asking me for donations because their son died, I would definitely want the story if they are asking me to open up my pocketbook. My arms are ALWAYS open emotionally for people in crisis.

And what does my having bible quotes on my page have anything to do with this.
This lady is clearly eating too many of those fruit loops.
It's not my place to judge ANYONE. 
And me replying to a person on twitter is not a sin.
No matter how bad of a person they are.

I have bible quotes on my page because I like the inspirational things they say, as do my readers.
I'm not a perfect person. I make mistakes, I let my temper get to me, I sin...but so does everyone.
I have them on there BECAUSE I WANT TO!

So enough of this crap.
I didn't think I would post anything about Shellie Ross and her son, but this will be my one and ONLY post because this lady kind of irritated me by sending me this crackpot email that had absoultely nothing to do with what I said to her.

So lady, have a nice life. Since you so clearly stalked my Twitter feed and MY blog to get my email address.
Learn to get all your facts on a story before sending out crazy emails.
It makes you look like a crazy lady.

This message brought to you by Six Word Saturday over at Cate @ ShowMyFace.
Check her out and see what everyone else is saying in 6 words or less!

Because I'm a nice person...and I need the money!

My employers called me yesterday and asked me if I'd like to work in the office until I see the surgeon and was released to go back to the hospital.
I said yes!
I'm so bored at home. I hate paperwork, but anything is better than sitting at home all day.
Plus, workman's comp is not going to pay me my full wage the whole time I'm out of work at the hospital, so after trying to hours to get ahold of my doctor, I was able to have him fax over a new doctor's note that says I'm on EXTREMELY light duty with my left arm and can't lift more than 5 lbs with it.

Yay! To have something to do again rocks!!
I gotta cut this post short because I have to get ready.

Happy Friday everyone!!
Anyone have any good plans this weekend?

Dec 17, 2009

Horrible movie and a shoulder update

I've always been a Jack Black fan and I've really enjoyed Michael Cera ever since I seen Juno.
So I thought I would rent this movie since they have BOTH of them in it.

Well it sucked!!!
I had to turn it off half way through the movie because it was killing me.
Bad idea...

On another note, I went to my MRI yesterday.

I went into the Alaska Spine Institute because apparently they are the best at Arthograms, but it was a horrible experience.
They were doing construction in the middle of waiting room.
I got called back and they put me in this room and told me to take off my bra and shirt and put on a hospital gown so I could go to the Xray first.
So I did, and I'm sure most of you know, if you've been in a hospital gown, that they don't fit right and you feel exposed.
Well they made me wait in the hallway wearing this hospital gown with construction workers running around and I'm all feeling exposed.
It was horrible. I even asked for a sheet or blanket and they said they didn't have any.

Well I went into xray because I had to have this dye injected into my shoulder.

The doctor numbed me a little bit which of course burns, but when he tried injecting the dye into my shoulder, it hurt so bad!
He said it wasn't going in very well because I guess my shoulder is inflammed.
Anyone know what the needle looks like that you use to blow up a basketball???
He stuck this huge thing into my shoulder while I'm laying on the table and thread this tube into my joint then injected the dye.
It hurt so bad.

Once he was done with that, I was given a sweatshirt to put on then walked over to the MRI.
I then had to put this thing on my shoulder that reminds me of a one sided football shoulder pad that the tech strapped around me.
I laid on the table and put my ear plugs in and was pushed into the machine.

I got to listen to 35 minutes of what sounded like horses running, then jack hammering, then some alien sounding screeching.
It was complete torture!
I thought I was going to have a panic attack because it's a tight fit, but the tech was nice and talked me through it the whole time I was in there.

The results won't be ready for 2-3 days, but my appointment isn't until Christmas Eve at 10am.
I'm able to move my arm more, but it still aches pretty bad and I can feeling the swelling on the inside.
I really hope I don't need surgery.

Dec 15, 2009

Weekend update

So this weekend, I about went stir crazy not doing anything!!
I really hate not working right now.

Between having some kind of stomach problem, a pain killer induced sleep, and sleeping wonky hours, Carrie and I decided to put together our gingerbread house for the contest at work.

Here's some pictures!

This was the beginning. It took us FOREVER to get the damn thing to stay up. We were using that icing, which by the way should NOT be edible. It was like straight caulking you use to seal your tub in the bathroom!!
So after seeing it all ooze out of the sides, Carrie and I decided to make a midnight run to Walmart for more supplies.

So, it's starting to look a little better. We decided to frost the WHOLE thing and add decorations to it later.
It took us like 3 hours just to do this LoL.
I've never made a gingerbread house before, so it was quite hilarious.

And this is the finished product!
Not too shabby for my first time making one LoL
Now we just have to come up with a name for it.

Any suggestions??

Also, I got some pretty good ice tree pictures. It's been so friggin cold here lately and I actually went outside when we decided to go to Walmart, so I snapped some pictures.



Neat huh?
Everything is covered in ice here.
Supposed to snow some more, but it's going to freeze again since they are predicting negative 20 degree weather.
Not looking forward to that!!!

Dec 14, 2009

Back to regularly scheduled program tomorrow

Due to some sort of stomach flu and a pain killer induced sleep, I haven't been able to post this weekend, but I'll be back tomorrow.

Dec 13, 2009

'Tis the season to show some appreciation!

Ready to do something extra
meaningful this holiday season?
I've found the perfect way, and it only
takes a couple minutes of your time.
If you've ever wanted to
thank a soldier,
there's no better time than now.

It's as simple as this:

Go to
Pick a design you like.
Enter your name, town, and state.
Choose a message or create your own.
Click submit.
That's it!

This is not a sales gimmick,
or any of that retarded crap.
Yes, I said retarded crap.

Guess that shows that I'm taking the time
to spread the word myself.

So please,
whether you take the time
to go to this site or not,
Spread the word!
I can't think of any better gift
than to send a free postcard
to a soldier, showing him or her
that you care and have them in your
thoughts this holiday season.

They can't be home,
with their families,
for the holiday.

Because they're in some crappy country
fighting for OUR freedom.
The least you could do
is send them a postcard.
To everyone that doesn't
believe in the whole
"It's the thought that counts" theory,
think again.

The Soldier

Your postcard could mean
the world to a soldier.
It can keep their hopes up
and their heads held high.
It shows them that their bravery
does not go without notice.
It shows them that all of
their fallen brothers and sisters
are not forgotten,
nor are they.
It lets them know that they are forever
in our thoughts and prayers
and we all hope for their safe return.

Thank you

Dec 11, 2009

I'm making yummy pumpkin bread muffins!

I got a baking bug earlier and I'm currently making some pumpkin bread muffins.
Looking back, I wish I had some ingredients to make cream cheese frosting for them!
Maybe I'll do that the next batch.

This post brought to you by 6 Word Saturday at Show My Face.
Make sure to go over there and check what everyone is saying in 6 words or less!

Update after seeing Orthopedic Surgeon

I got to go into Anchorage's Fracture and Orthopedic office today at Providence Hospital and let me tell's nice looking!!

I got to see a surgeon by the name of Dr. Shumacher and he was really nice.
He looked over my x-rays and assured me that nothing was dislocated or broken which is a good sign, but he wasn't too sure about the internal damage.

He tried moving my shoulder, but it just hurt too bad.
He said it could be one of three things:
  1. Torn cartilage around the shoulder joint
  2. Pulled muscle
  3. Torn muscle
He said he'd rather it be the second choice because that means I would only need physical therapy to get it moving and stuff, but if it's either 1 or 3, then I would need surgery.
I don't want surgery!!

So the next step is going for an MRI on Wednesday, so I have to go all weekend in pain still.
They are going to have to inject some dye into my shoulder joint then I'm going to have to sit in an MRI machine for 25-45 minutes. It sucks!! They are so noisy and not fun to lay in.
Then I'm on standby for another appointment hopefully before Christmas Eve because that's the only available appointment he has so I'm hoping someone cancels so I get called in earlier.
I'm going to be out of work for at least 3 weeks. Which sucks. Hopefully I can get paid through workman's comp, but I don't know. I'll have to ask my employers on Monday.

So I just have to sit in pain popping my Vicoden pills and boozing it up!
Just kidding on the boozing it up part...for now.

But here's some pics of my sexy shoulder!


Now that's one sexy shoulder yo!!

Dec 10, 2009

Never push a hospital bed with someone who doesn't know what they're doing

Because it's a disaster!

So like I've mentioned before, I got hurt at work.
It happened Tuesday while moving a patient to another floor in his bed.

We were short handed because our boss gave another co-worker time off and sent us a replacement who didn't know what they were doing at all!!

We got a page to move a patient from one floor to another, so I showed up along with another co-worker. We gathered all of his stuff and had his family follow us up to his new floor where he would be.
Once we got up there, the guy that was filling in, decided he wanted to take over for my co-worker and started to push the bed.

Well each floor has carpet and I think it's the most ridiculous thing to have ever!! It's so hard to move beds on carpet...

Well he wasn't pushing very hard, so I turned around and started pulling at the foot of the bed.
We had to go around a corner, so I faced away from the bed and used my arm to guide the bed around the corner.
Well all of a sudden, the guy helping me thought we were done pushing, so he stopped the bed and yanked back on it...taking my arm and shoulder with it!

I felt this pop and a surge of pain go to my shoulder. So I told him we had to go to the room and he says, "Oh, I thought we were leaving him here."

In the hallway??!??
You have got to be kidding me!

Well he pushed the bed a few more feet into the room and I plugged it in with my other arm then rushed out of the room and ran to the bathroom down the hall where I screamed and looked at my shoulder.
I didn't see anything, but it hurt like hell.
I told my other co-worker who is the supervisor there, and she called the office and told me that I needed to go to the ER there at the hospital and have them look at it.

So I get down to the ER and boy that was embarrassing.
I work with these people!

They did x-rays and didn't find anything dislocated, or broken so that's a good thing.
Now I just have to get into see an orthopedic surgeon to see if anything is torn and needs repair.

So remember, don't ever do anything that could hurt you with someone you don't trust!

Dec 9, 2009

Homemade sushi

Look at what Hubs made for me! It was so good.

I'm surprised it turned out ok.

UPDATE: I have an appt with an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow @ 130pm

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
Dec 8, 2009

In pain!

Got hurt at work.

Laying on couch in a drug induced stupor.

More details tomorrow.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

In need of a new doctor

As I've posted before, my Grampa was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer a few weeks ago.
Of all things, he told me in an email while telling me about his garden that he was harvesting....he's crazy.

Well I decided I would send him an email back asking him how the biopsy went, what the doctors planned on doing, and if he thought of what he wanted to do in regards to his treatment.
He sent me a message back a few hours later telling me that his doctor will not even set an appointment with him. He basically quit on my Grampa!!

From the sound of the email, my Grampa's new doctor is some 30-something-year-old guy that has no bedside manner what-so-ever and doesn't even look his patients in the eye.
He gets them in and out and doesn't explain anything.
When my Grampa was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, he asked me what that meant and what his options were.

Well after talking to my aunt, she's going to have my Grampa come stay with her for a few months so he can get looked at by his old doctor that he absolutely loves.
He'll be able to get his tests done again and he's old doctor WILL sit down and talk to him about his options and everything. Plus, his doctor will talk to me because he knows me and knows I can explain things better to my Grampa.

I just hope he can get it done soon so we know which path to take for his healing.


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