Nov 30, 2010

As you read this...

I am...
  • Frantically running around my house making sure I have everything packed.
  • Running around town doing last minute errands (ex. putting a hold on our mail, making copies of the my niece and nephew for family back home, grocery shopping so my brother can eat, etc)
  • Trying to untie my stomach from all the knots it has. I'm nervous about the flight and seeing family I haven't seen in 8 years!
  • Calling the office to make sure they have my clock out times for the I get paid on Monday! 
  • Making sure all of the shows are set up on the DVR so I don't miss anything.
  • Printing out all of my tickets for the events we're going to.
  • Cleaning the house before we leave.
See you guys again when I'm in Ohio!

Such a Procrastinator

I'm sitting here doing the second to last load of laundry I need to get cleaned so I can finish packing.
I leave for Ohio tomorrow.
I have to be at the airport at 10pm. 
I'm going to be up all night cleaning the house, packing, and making sure I have everything before I can even go to bed.
I was going to do it all today, but I got called into work for a 10 hour shift.
Someone wanna come over and help me clean and pack?
I pay in cookies!

Nov 28, 2010

Daily Picture

It doesn't get any more beautiful than this!

- Posted from my iPhone
Nov 27, 2010

Six Word Saturday [Edition 30]

4 more days until my vacation!

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Nov 26, 2010

Friday Flashback

As you can tell from the date, we went to the zoo 2.5 years ago. It was my first time and I love the seals. 
When hubs went to stand next to the tank, this little bugger came up to him and would keep sticking his tongue out at us. 
It was so cute!

Did you participate in Black Friday this year?
If so, what kind of good deals did you get?
I'm stuck at work!

Nov 25, 2010

Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving, I will be cooking dinner for 15-17 people.
Wish me luck!

This year, I've reflected on all of the horrible things, but I have come across some things I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for:
  • Waking up every morning.
  • Waking up every morning next to my husband.
  • Having a loving family.
  • Having a great couple of friends.
  • Having my hubby and myself out on our own in our own apartment.
  • Being able to help my brother get on his feet.
  • Being able to pay my bills.
  • Having a job to wake up to every morning.
As you're reading this, I'm slaving over a hot oven cooking up a scrumptious dinner!

What are you thankful for this year?

Nov 24, 2010

I got my Christmas gift early

My husband really loves me.
He got me my first REAL camera and kit.
I'm buy far a photographer, but I've been wanting to start up a hobby.
This is an excellent starter kit for me.

Not shown: A mini travel tripod.
I can't believe he bought this all for me.
I'm speechless.
I can't wait to use it when we go on vacation next week!
Nov 23, 2010

In overdrive

I'm in total overdrive.
After putting in another 16 hours of overtime this week, I haven't time to do crap! Literally...

Now my last "weekend" (I have Tues-Thurs off) is going to be busy with shopping for Thanksgiving dinner. On top of that, I need to start getting things ready for my vacation!
I can't wait to not have to be obligated to please anyone. I'm going to have 9 days of wonderful bliss where I can visit with family and go on a bunch of trips with my husband.
We deserve this vacation!

I just wish my last "weekend" wasn't before a holiday.
I will be cooking for 17 people at hubby's uncle's house. He's going through a divorce and has been really depressed, so he was elated when we asked if he wanted to spend Thanksgiving with us. It turned in to the WHOLE family showing up. So it's gonna be fun...maybe. This part of the family tend to not like me, with the exception of maybe 4 out of 30. Ha!

So what are your Thanksgiving plans?
Having any family over or having a quiet night?
If I don't return after Thanksgiving, call in the SWAT team.
I may be killed...

I may need to grab some ice skates

Everything is under a sheet of ice!
Nov 21, 2010

Sunday Praise and Prayer [Edition 27]

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  
Matthew 7:1 (NIV)

These two scriptures have been going through my head for the past couple of weeks.
I need strength right now more than anything.
I pray that others do not judge in this time.
I'd talk more about it now, but will have to wait until I've absorbed some things.
Just please pray for my situation.

Nov 20, 2010

Six Word Saturday [Edition 29]

11 more days until my vacation!

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Nov 19, 2010

Friday Flashback

This was during a huge snowfall.
Aaron and I along with Carrie and J decided to be kids and play in the snow.
My mother-in-law snapped this picture just as Aaron was trying to throw a snowball at me.
It's one of my favorites.
Nov 18, 2010

Why I'm burned out

If you're a follower of me on Twitter...or even Facebook, you'll know that I've been working so maaaaaaad overtime.
I'm always at work.
Why am I always at work?
Because my boss doesn't let me or the other supervisor have any say so on who comes into the hospital to work on our team. He has no idea everything we do and doesn't tell applicants the proper information.
So by the time they get to the hospital and find out ALL the stuff we do, they aren't up for it.
It's like no one wants to work for their money anymore.
They think they can just sit around, do a few things and expect to get paid the big bucks because they are working in a hospital.
Sorry dudes, it doesn't work that way!!!

So back to why I'm burned out....
  • Working 12-15 hour days.
  • Working six days a week.
  • Being completely short-handed and doing 100 pages a day.
  • Putting up with the office changing my schedule on a whim...without even calling me
  • My boss telling me...and I quote..."You should be available more because you don't have any children." Bullshit.
  • Training complete morons for two weeks straight.
  • Working extra hard training the morons for two weeks straight and have them quit and have to start all over with new people when they get hired.
We just had five people start on Monday with orientation, fit testing, computer training, and immunizations. I won't work with them until Friday, so we'll see how they do. My boss said he only expects two to stay out of the five...I know, he's an idiot.
Quit wasting my fucking time.
I'm almost done...

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Nov 17, 2010

10 reasons I don't drink coffee

  1. Heartburn
  2. Funny taste after mouth
  3. Expensive habit (because I don't have time to make coffee before work)
  4. Too much caffeine
  5. Makes my heart skip (which makes me have panic attacks)
  6. Jittery feeling all day
  7. Filmy teeth
  8. I hate really hot drinks
  9. Makes me drink too much sugar
  10. Did I mention it makes my heart skip?
With all these horrible things, you would wonder why I STILL drink coffee.

Are you a coffee drinker?
What's your favorite coffee?
If you don't drink coffee, what are you're reasons?

Nov 16, 2010

Boy! I sure was in denial!

I've completely embraced the whole new healthy lifestyle I'm leading.
I'm feeling happier, I have more energy, my stress is reducing, and I even think I'm less bitchier!

I decided I was going to do something I've never done before.
I took my measurements.
I was in such denial.
I had no idea at all. I was thinking completely different numbers. 

I did my right and left thigh, my right and left bicep, my bust, my waist, and my hips.
Let me tell you...I sat on the bench in the locker room and cried.
I have been living in such denial as the weight kept piling on and on and on until I couldn't fit into my biggest pair of fat jeans I had.
I didn't know I had that many inches.

I'm not going to share just yet...I might down the road.
I'm excited about losing some inches right now.
So far, weight loss is 6lbs and inches is 2.

I will conquer my horrible lifestyle and be healthy!

Nov 15, 2010

Monday Movie Review

Netflix is my best friend. I've had movie nights at least 3 times a week because of the ease of having a movie mailed to me!
Makes it a lot easier by far!

This week I watched...

This action comedy tells the tale of mild-mannered married couple Phil (Steve Carell) and Claire (Tina Fey), who fear their relationship may be falling into a stale rut. During their weekly date night, they impetuously steal a dinner reservation, which leads to a case of mistaken identity. Turns out the reservation was for a pair of thieves, and now a number of unsavory characters want Phil and Claire killed. If they can survive a wacky life-threatening night, they may just rediscover the passion missing from their marriage. Directed by Shawn Levy, the film co-stars Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, and Kristen Wiig.

I am a HUGE Steve Carell fan. I've liked every one of his movies. Evan Almighty, Horton Hears a Who, Dan in Real Life, 40 Year Old Virgin, Despicable Me. He's a funny guy!
I'm also a Tina Fey fan as well. I absolutely loved her on SNL (Saturday Night Live) and Baby Mama. She's such a funny lady!

So it was much to my disappointment that I found neither one of these people funny in this movie. I might have cracked a giggle here and there, but it had to do with someone other than them in the movie.
I just couldn't get into it!
I was really disappointed.
Maybe it was the plot of the movie, maybe it was because they just weren't funny at all.
I rate this movie a D-.

Have you seen Date Night?
Did you like it?
If so, what did you like about the movie?
If you didn't, what made you not like it?

Nov 14, 2010

Sunday Praise and Prayer [Edition 26]

So be very careful to love the LORD your God.
Joshua 23:11 (NIV)

  • I was able to visit with my nephew this past week. It was wonderful to have him around!
  • One of my favorite patients has finally been discharged from the hospital after being here for 5 months. Started in ICU and was finally discharged after hitting almost every unit. 
  • We have 5 new employees starting on Monday. Praise Jesus! I'm tired of working all this overtime (although the extra money is nice).

  • My dear friend Trudy needs some prayer. You can read her blog post. She needs our prayers more than ever right now!
  • D* is having some trouble in her relationship.
  • R* is having trouble in her relationship.
  • My sister, J, needs some guidance in her life. She's getting really bad.
  • My brother, Joe, needs to find work. He's put in so many applications. No call backs.
  • Mother-in-law. She's been trying to get everything situated with doctor appointments.
  • Carrie on her next cycle.
  • Any infertile out there currently trying.
Nov 13, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Thirty

Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Dear Me,
You know how lazy I am so I'm making a lit of things that I love about you.
  • You have a great sense of humor
  • You're funny
  • You're kind hearted.
  • You can stick up for yourself.
  • You're independent. 
  • You know your flaws and know how to change them.
  • You're hardworking.
  • You are a beautiful person.
  • You are strong.
  • You have a contagious laugh. 
  • You can get along with anyone.
There is so much more to love about yourself, but this is a great start. When you feel down, just come back to this list.
You are a great person Nikke!

Me <3

30 Days of [Truth] Day Twenty-Seven - Twenty-Nine

Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Right now, my relationship with Aaron.
If it weren't for him, I don't know where I would be.
I have a great relationship with my husband, I have a decent job that allows me to pay my bills, and living life.

Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
If I were pregnant, I would be the HAPPIEST woman alive. Dealing with infertility has taken a toll on my soul and is a major part of my depression. My day will come. I just have to have faith.

Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
I want to lose weight.
Not only lose weight, but live a healthy lifestyle.
I want to quit smoking, quit eating foods horrible for me, and get to a healthy weight.
I'm working on it for a few weeks and I know it's going to take time.

30 Days of [Truth] Day Twenty-Six

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Many times.
I'm not perfect. I've accepted that.
I spent a majority of my teenage and young adult years in a cloud of depression.
  • I'm fat
  • I'm ugly
  • I never finished school
  • I had an abusive boyfriend
  • I haven't had a great relationship with family
  • My mother hated me
  • I was abused as a child
  • The abuse ran into my teen years
  • The abuse was physical and mental
  • I was never allowed to have friends when I was younger
And the list goes on and on.
It wasn't until a few years when the cloud lifted and I realized that I am someone important and there are people out there that love me.
I finally found where I'm supposed to be in life.
I still admit there are times when I suffer from days of depression, but it's nothing like it was before.

30 Days of [Truth] Day Twenty-Two - Twenty-Five

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
There isn't one thing in my life that I would change.
If it weren't for the mistakes I have made, I wouldn't be who I am today.
Mistakes and all. I am me because of them.
I've gained a lot of wisdom from all the mess ups I've done in my life.
I couldn't make myself better unless I learned and changed from them.

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
I'm pretty young and if there is something I haven't done yet, I still have time to do it.
I will say this...
I wish I would have gone to college right out of high school.

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
I will not be participating in this one.
I don't relate that much to music for other people.
I have a few songs that I relate to well because of things in the past and now, but I don't put much thought into putting a song with another person.

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
I believe I'm still alive today because God has big plans for me.
I've done so many stupid ass things in my past and had plenty of opportunities to die, but I'm still here.
I have no idea what it is I'm supposed to do with my life, but God will let me know when the time comes.

30 Days of [Truth] Day Nineteen - Twenty-One

Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
I think if you have religion, it's a great thing!
I don't judge about what kind of religion you follow, or lack of.
Myself, I believe in God. I accepted Jesus into my life March 16, 2008.
I was water baptized on that night at Muldoon Community Assembly by Pastor Mark.
It was the greatest night of my life.

Politics on the other hand, I try to stay out of. I have my own views and opinions and I keep that between me and the voting booth.
It's a never ending debate on which politician is better and who is bad. In my opinion, they are all bad. They will say whatever they need to for the votes they want. Once they get into office, it's a total different story.

Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
They are both bad.
What else do you want me to say?
I admit, I used to be heavy into drugs. I was a very unhappy person and I used the drugs and booze to drown my sorrows.
It took me many years to break that cycle and find myself again.
I don't hang around anyone that does drugs anymore because of my past with them.
I never had a problem with the alcohol. I don't look forward to drink anymore, but I occasionally have a beer every few months with friends.

Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
I would go wherever she was.
Just because friends fight doesn't mean they should ignore them completely and turn their back.
I'm not that kind of person.
A car accident is horrible and they need all the support around them.

Six Word Saturday [Edition 28]

18 more days until my vacation!

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I Promise!

I promise I'll be back to my normal posting in a few days.
This 30 Days of [Truth] blog challenge is entirely toooooo long for me.
I've been saving some pretty awesome posts for everyone so check back soon!

Nov 12, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Eighteen

Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.

I don't know why this is such a controversial topic.
We are in the 21st century.
Who are we to say that two people that are completely devoted to each other and love each other cannot get married?
I am for gay marriage.
I think anyone two people that love each other and are committed to each other should be able to get married and spend the rest of their lives together.
Judge me all you want.

Nov 11, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Seventeen

Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I'm not much of a non-fiction book reader.
I did read ONE book in high school to do a report on in history.

Image via

Night is Elie Wiesel's personal account of the Holocaust as seen through the eyes of a 15-year-old boy. The book describes Wiesel's first encounter with prejudice and details the persecution of a people and the loss of his family. Wiesel's experiences in the death camps of Auschwitz and Buchenwald are detailed; his accounts of starvation and brutality are shattering—a vivid testimony to the consequences of evil. Throughout the book, Wiesel speaks of the struggle to survive, the fight to stay alive while retaining those qualities that make us human. While Wiesel lost his innocence and many of his beliefs, he never lost his sense of compassion nor his inherent sense of right.

I never knew much about racism or hatred. 
I cried the entire time I read this book. 
After reading his account of trying to survive and overcoming it all, my life somehow looked so measly. 
I often read this book over and over. 
I would love to meet him and shake his hand.

Nov 10, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Sixteen

Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.

***For the sake of this person's privacy, I will refer to this person as Sam***

Dear Sam,
You have done nothing but make my life a living hell.
How can you call yourself my friend when you do nothing but fuck me over?
You have lied to me, you have stolen from me, and you do it all with no remorse.
You don't talk to me unless it's to get money out of me, or if you need to come over because you have no where to go.
I have let myself be fooled by your trickery and was even dumb enough to think you could change, but I won't allow it anymore.
I won't allow you to rob me of anything ever again.
I'm sorry that pisses you off so much you think you need to talk shit about me, but in the end, I know the truth and YOU know the truth.
Have a great life, Sam.
We will not be friends anymore.


Nov 9, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Fifteen

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

I have a problem getting close to anyone.
I've sheltered my feelings towards other people so I wouldn't get attached to them.
I knew if I did, I would get hurt.
I put on a nice front, but this is all about discovering you and being TRUTHFUL to yourself.

Ever since I moved to Alaska, I've been missing something.
I've had this void in my soul that I haven't been able to place.
After a little bit of discovery, it's my Grampa that I miss.

My Grampa and I are like two peas in a pod. We have been through so much.
When I moved to Alaska, I went through some financial issues and I was unable to talk to my Grampa for a very long time.
I was miserable.
I couldn't eat or sleep.
I was going insane.

Finally, when we settled down into our house, I went out and got a cell phone and was able to call my Grampa.
He's my one and only.
I could never live without him.
Now I just need to figure out a way to keep him alive forever...

Share someone or something you can't live without =]

Nov 8, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Fourteen

Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)

This one is a hard one for me.
I've never had any heroes.
I never saw someone and said "Hey, I want to be just like them!"
I have struggled greatly with what kind of person I was, am, and will be, but I'm happy with that.
I know I'm going to screw up, I know I'm going to piss off some people.
I may not do things the "conventional" way, but I'm happy about that.
I'm happy being me.
I guess the hero I have is me...and I haven't let myself down.

Nov 7, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Thirteen

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Third Eye Blind.
This song alone has gotten me through some of my deepest and darkest times in the past.
Even today, I still listen to it when I'm feeling down.
There's nothing like cranking up the song and singing it at the top of your lungs while your crying your eyes out.
Thank you for all of your music Third Eye Blind.

Nov 6, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Twelve

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.

I'm overweight so I never get compliments on anything...other than my eyes.
(Well other than hubby telling me I'm beautiful)

Nov 5, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Eleven

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

This one is easy!

My eyes!

Nov 4, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Ten

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I'm kind of torn with this.
I know I need to let this person go, but I'm glad I got to know him when I did. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have met my husband.
With that said, I need to let him go.
When I first met this person, it was great. We became really good friends and his family pretty much adopted me when I moved to Alaska. It was great having them around.
That was until he started stealing from me because of a drug addiction he kept hidden from me for six months.
He would ask to borrow money from me for a bill or something, but after his stories didn't sit well with me, I would ask his parents.
That's when I realized the truth about him.
I was hurt and angry.
We fell away from each other and he would pop back up in my life and steal from me and lie his way out of everything.
He did this off and on for a few years.
I guess it was my fault for not putting my foot down...until recently.
I know he's my hubby's family and his parents have been great with me, but I will no longer have him in my life because of the stealing and lying he has done.
Not to mention all of the lying he has done to family and friends.

Nov 3, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Nine

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

When I lived in Ohio, I dated a guy named Phil.
I thought we were meant to be together forever.
He was a high school sweetheart and we were around each other all the time. We always did things together and were never apart.
That all changed once I started working.
He got really distant with me when I started my job and would complain a lot because I was never around.
When I got kicked out of the place I was living, I had to move back home for awhile.
It was 20 minutes away from where I was living before and we soon just saw less and less of each other until it got to the point that we never called or hung out.
He moved on and married my friend from high school shortly after that.
I guess he didn't plan on us being together after all.

*Don't take this as me being unhappy about it. I'm very happy with my marriage with the hubs. 


The following statistics can be found here.

  • Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%
  • Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57%
  • Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54%
  • Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%
  • Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68%
I find these statistics appalling!

And before you say anything...this post as nothing to do with my marriage with Aaron.
It actually has to do with my sister, J.

My sister J met a guy when she was working on the slopes. She started dating him and they clicked. She never introduced him to me, but my other sister and brother know who he is.
They have all said really good things about him. He allows her to use his truck when he's doing his two week hitch on the pipeline, gives her money when she needs it, takes her out all the time, and shows affection to her.
I went to my sister G's house a few weeks ago and I was expecting to see sister J there. When I noticed she wasn't there, I asked sister G where she was and G said that she was out with her "other boyfriend". I gave her a weird look and she said, "Oh, you didn't know?"
Know what?!?!?
Sister G informed that J was cheating on her boyfriend with another guy.
How could she do this????????????
Maybe that's why she doesn't call me anymore, or come hang out, or even let me meet her boyfriend.
She probably knew I'd find out sooner or later.
One thing she cannot take is disappointment from other people, so she stays away so I won't be disappointed in her.
It just boggles my mind how someone could be so mean.
How can you say you love someone, have an intimate relationship with them, tell them you want to be with them, and in the same time, turn around and have ANOTHER intimate relationship with another man.
It pisses me off to no end. That is one thing that I do not tolerate.
I have no respect for people who can be so selfish and horrible to someone else.

I don't know how to take this.
I want to kick her ass for being so mean to someone she supposedly "loves", but I know that won't solve anything.
I'd talk to her about it, but she refuses to talk about anything that upsets her. She just walks away or hangs up the phone.
It's probably none of my business, but I can't believe my sister would do something like this.
I'd love to message her boyfriend on Facebook after seeing all of the lovey-dovey things he says to her, but it's not my place.
I just hope he opens his eyes and sees my sister for the true person she really is.

Nov 2, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Eight

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

The award goes to my step-father.
He was a total asshole to me and my mother.
He never touched his son or twin daughters. In his mind, they were all perfect.
I would get beat over the smallest things.
The worst time was when I was 16.
I was living with him and my mother and our house was setup to where my room was up this small steep staircase.
My mom would put our folded clothes on the stairs and the next time we went up the stairs, we were to take our clothes up with us.
I came home from school and my step-father was on a rave.
He beat me with his belt on my back until my back bled.
All because my clothes were sitting on the staircase the whole day while I was at school.
I never got a chance to take them upstairs...

That was the last time he ever hit me.

Nov 1, 2010

30 Days of [Truth] Day Seven

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

I'm going to do this in pictures.

My family is who I live for.

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