Dec 27, 2010

It just doesn't get any easier

This day two years ago, I was supposed to give birth to a beautiful baby girl that we named Katelynn Rose-Michelle Brown.
I've come to terms with the loss, I've healed physically from the loss, but I have yet to heal emotionally from the loss.
I thought time would heal, but it has not.
It still stings every time I see a baby
It stings every time I hear a pregnancy announcement.
It stings every time I see a pregnant woman.
It stings every time I see an ultrasound picture.
It stings every time I get an invite to a baby shower.
It stings every time I go to work and deal with a woman that just gave birth to a baby.
It stings every time I see birth announcements.
I hate that she was taken away from me!
I hate that my body is betraying me!
I hate that all of this shit is happening!
It's not fair.

3 comments:

Lin said...

I'm sorry sweets. *hugs*

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry :(

colourherhope.com said...

I'm so sorry Nikki. I didn't realize that you have lost a precious baby, a girl. I'm so sorry. :( I wanted to come to your blog to tell you that you don't need to make things like i do to keep her memory alive, do what YOU need to do to keep that. I am just that way, i'm a weird one ;) I just wanted to say that. much love girl.

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