It's when I think about all the pain inside of me that I'm trying to hide.
I wish things were different almost five years ago.
This time five years ago I was so happy and planning a nursery.
So every time someone says Happy Mother's Day to me, I want to punch them in the effing throat.
But my pain aside, it's a time that I like to honor my own mother.
My mother has been through some shit.
Granted, she was selfish back in the day and we have our own problems, but I have the utmost respect for her because I don't even know half the stress she has dealt with being in an abusive relationship for so long, then getting the courage to leave the abusive relationship and struggle so many years being a single parent to four children and surviving off of one income...and not a very large income.
I'm happy that my mother has turned her life around, gotten healthier, has a job that she loves, and is able to support herself.
I'm even more happy that we have a great relationship.
I love that I can now call my mother and talk to her when I'm having a shitty day, I have a mother that supports the fact that I'm screwed up in the head and seeing a psychiatrist, I have a mother that comes and visits and spoils me, and that I have a mother that I know truly loves me.
So here's to you mom!
I know you read my blog secretly.
Happy Mother's Day.
Zombie-fied of course!